I Know Nothing

Or maybe I do know something... But everything's completely blurry. Wait. I remember. I was looking for something! Something really important! Something that meant my life to me!

But what was it? Because I think I might need someone to remember it, since I'm afraid I even lost myself looking for it, whatever it was. So many times I thought I had found it that now I can't even be sure of what it was...

Or maybe I did find it, after all... Maybe it's just that I did forget what I was looking for, and then found the real thing while I thought I was looking for something else.

Maybe I didn't lose it, in the first place. Maybe it's still there, just waiting in the same place I left it so many lifetimes ago.

Or perhaps I didn't lose it, meaning that it wasn't my fault. Maybe it was just its time to vanish... No, I'm pretty sure it was my fault.

It's gone. It may be gone forever. Liar, liar. That's all. That's what I get in the end. My new masterpiece, my constant play, my life. There are differences between an actress and a liar. An actress can tell the difference between the play and the reality. No, no. I'm a liar, and a good one. I'm the one who fakes the feelings and ends up believing it.

Wait. Hush... I think I got it. Yes, I remember now! I can see it: It's me, waiting. I'm standing there -I don't know where that is-, and I'm looking at something that isn't coming. What's happening? Why am I still waiting? Oh, oh... Yes, I got it now. That's what I'm waiting for... And I can't leave because I chose to wait for it even when I knew it didn't exist anymore.